if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
