Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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