i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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