my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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