remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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