Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
