My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
