somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
