Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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