are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
