You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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