could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
