wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
