What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
