We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
