my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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