I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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