I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
