Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
