Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
