Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
a search helicopter?!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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