whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
