and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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