My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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