bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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