He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
