We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
