South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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