Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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