dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
