My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
