dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
