Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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