i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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