Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
