No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
