physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have aggressive nipples.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
