my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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