No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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