wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
