Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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