If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
