Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You work out of a Hotel?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
