is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You ruined the universe
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
