u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Vodka?
Forever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
