is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
