Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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