What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
