Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
