There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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