youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
