OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
