No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
