Its about making memories worth repressing
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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