FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
