Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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