I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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